In my prior couple posts I have detailed how I find myself back at the starting line at age 68. Partly by happenstance, mostly by choice, I'm in the throes of a great transition. I won’t rehash the story here; suffice to say that as of spring 2024, I found myself facing a major life rebuild.
The first thing to do was to get control of my spending. It was time to minimize.
I realized that my biggest asset at this point was the roof over my head, even if it is a rented roof. The house serves as a very good location from which to do business. I have computers, musical equipment, various things that allow me to create videos and conduct online business. At the time of my epiphany I hadn't started any of these things, but I'm well underway now. Rent and utilities eat up about 85% of my social security pension. That's a lot. I decided to sell the car.
I used my small stash of gold and silver to pay off my debts, and to ensure that the house and utilities were covered. I decided to sell gold instead of selling business assets; we can argue the merits of that decision all day long but I think in my case it was for the best. I hate losing the metals, but I would have probably just rolled over and died had I lost the ability to create.
I cut expenses to the bone. After the house and utilities, the next two necessary expenditures are food and transportation. As mentioned, I sold the car. Luckily there's a bodega and a weekly farmers market that are walkable from here. The house is in a deep wood but is only a couple miles from the center of this mid-sized town.
Virtually my entire food budget goes to protein and vegetables. I eat a lot of raw food, and I cook the rest. I have not been to a restaurant in months. I have completely given up sugar; there is none in the house. My diet is as clean as it has been in years. Addressing my diet has allowed me to resume a fairly active physical routine. I lift about three times per week, use bands for flex training, and I walk at least 2 miles daily.
I avoid doctors and medicines, and have remained generally healthy my whole life. Thus my med costs are basically zero. I keep several software subscriptions necessary to doing business, and that is the extent of my spending right now.
So good for me, I suppose.
The primary task has been to fully understand how my desire has been weaponized and used against me. I have always tried to pretend that I’m not moved by advertising, or fashion, or fads, or,or,or… It was an interesting moment when I had to face that reality. Turns out I don’t really need very much, but it took some soul-searching for me to fully grok it.
I’m going through the piles of things I purchased back when I had purchasing power to see what still resonates. I held a porch sale. I gave clothes away. The process continues.
AI generated photo
I have called upon myself to be legend. Can I go the extra mile? Can I part with what doesn't serve me in the moment? Can I remain positive? So far so good. I affirm each day that “I break with the past. I corral my desires. I protect my energy. I live in the light.”
Building a startup business is the next phase of my personal renewal. I have started posting again on YouTube and here at Substack. I loathe Instagram and Tiktok, so I will not be using them. I’ve looked at affiliate marketing, but it would simply have to be only products I love to begin with. I post music videos. I’m writing a book. I’m even trying my hand at designing clever shirts and hoodies. I’m finally doing things I love to do. Because I love them, I know they will be successful.
I am still at times tormented in the middle of the night by my dark self whining “what can I possibly say that isn't being said better by someone else?” “What is my value proposition?” “What is my point?” But so far I’ve been able to take a couple deep breaths and go back to sleep.
This spiritual growth spiral is rooted in authenticity. It's about being my genuine self and not wavering. It's about doing the thing that I love to do regardless of the outcome, regardless of who's watching or listening. Regardless of the commentary. So far, nobody's listening. But I will continue. Because that's who I am. I'm stoked!